:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
