scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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