I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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