So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She is in my trunk
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
