Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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