I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
the raccoons are back...
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