Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
