I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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