To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
