There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
