you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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