Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
