it hurts more in the daytime
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
