HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
