:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
