omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
