Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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