Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
