he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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