you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
