Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
