you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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