he wants to bone in the snuggie
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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