The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
