i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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