meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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