some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Green mimosas i think yes
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
