he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I want a musical about memes.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
