Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm passing your future prison.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
