Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
