she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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