gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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