no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You don't make any sense
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