Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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