Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
