I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
