You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
