I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
