How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i barfeds in our rink
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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