he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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