You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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