Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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