no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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