I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
