i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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