when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
