I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Found the puke drawer
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
