So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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