There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
