just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
