Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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