apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
