sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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