Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
