Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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