people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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